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Home > Blog > Speaking of Rants...
Out of Our Minds
Monday, December 19, 2005 2:48 PM
Speaking of Rants...
Kevin Salwen on Culture

Coley's comment about music on my last post reminded me of one more question I needed to ask: What is the worst Christmas song played on the radio or incessantly in stores?

My pick is pretty easy. This one might just kill Beatles-raver Anita, but it has to be Paul McCartney's 'Wonderful Christmastime.' By the time he sings the 'ding-dong, ding-dong' parts, I really do want to kill myself.

What's on your list?

(OK, now really truly back to the Glass Half Full Me.)


15 comments

Monica Ricci - 5/10/2006 11:10:40 PM
If I hear Rockin' Around the Freakin' Christmas Tree one more time... It's a good thing Brenda Lee is no longer with us, because every holiday season I just want to hunt her down... ~Monica
neal w. - 12/22/2005 11:42:09 AM
Somebody else knows and hates the CHRISTMAS SHOES song! Hate it hate it hate it.
Kevin - 12/20/2005 10:05:51 PM
For the record, I drive a 5-yr-old Ford Ranger piece o' crap pickup. Every day that it starts is a little bit of happy. I do, however, groove on Starbucks coffee. Thanks for the classifications, Sam.
sam - 12/20/2005 7:42:28 PM
STOP WHINING, i would rather listen to any christmas song than list to this incenssant BS from the 'poor souls' that are forced to listen to christmas music while you back out the Lexus and head over to nordstrom to listen to more and follow up with a latte at starbucks, get lost....
sam - 12/20/2005 7:41:45 PM
STOP WHINING, i would rather listen to any christmas song than list to this incenssant BS from the 'poor souls' that are forced to listen to christmas music while you back out the ,exus and head over to nordstrom to listen to more and follow up with a latte at starbucks, get lost....
martin - 12/20/2005 8:41:30 AM
I'm with Jerome. Grandma and Alvin are fine. We just don't appreciate the novelty song here in the US. It's a dying/dead piece of pop culture but is still huge in other parts of the world.

And on 'Do The Know It's Christmastime at All', it always drove me nuts that the lyrics 'and there won't be snow in Africa this Christmas' were viewed as tolerable. There's not snow in Sydney, Port Arthur in New Guinea and a sizable chunk of the rest of the bloody world either and they don't get their own holiday song!
Jerrome - 12/20/2005 8:16:37 AM
I think Grandma and Alvin are kind of fun, actually, because they clearly are spoofs or aimed to be amusing junk. In that mindset, I think they're in a different category.

For me, it would have to be 'Do They Know It's Christmastime at All,' that wretched save-the-world thing starring Boy George or some other talent-free 80s crossdresser.
Jerrome - 12/20/2005 8:16:02 AM
I think Grandma and Alvin are kind of fun, actually, because they clearly are spoofs or aimed to be amusing junk. In that mindset, I think they're in a different category.

For me, it would have to be 'Do They Know It's Christmas at All,' that wretched save-the-world thing starring Boy George or some other talent-free 80s crossdresser.
anita - 12/20/2005 8:12:30 AM
Beatle raver that I am, 'Wonderful Christmastime' was McCartney's low point.

The only Christmas music I am listening to this year is Michael Franks' 'Watching the Snow' CD.

I'm even sick of hearing 'White Christmas' and 'Santa Baby.'
Percy - 12/20/2005 12:52:57 AM
I agree with Ethan about the Grandma song. Whoever wrote that piece of gargage should be locked in solitary confinement for the rest of their lives with that 'song' playing on an endless loop.

Other contenders:

--Jingle Bell Rock, sung by anybody
--Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree
--Santa Claus is Comin' To Town...regrettably, the Bruce Springsteen version (which pains me to say because I like Springsteen)

Julie - 12/19/2005 10:52:46 PM
Alvin and the Chipmunks. Spare me.
Harold - 12/19/2005 3:48:23 PM
Everything by Mannheim Steamroller.
Martin - 12/19/2005 3:47:24 PM
With out a doubt, the number one song is:
The Christmas Shoes - song. A frustrated shopper is standing behind a little, rag-a-muffin boy in on a busy Christmas Eve in a store. The boy is holding a pair of shoes he wants to buy for his mother who is dying. He wants to buy the shoes because 'Daddy says there's not much time'. He doesn't have enough money so our narrator gives him the money. Our narrator is convinced God sent him the boy to remind him what Christmas is all about.

We love and celebrate Christmas in our house. It's part of our family tradition to play 'the shoe song' as we believe that it's God's way of reminding us of why some people should never write music.

Ethan - 12/19/2005 3:29:21 PM
Oh come on. I won't even say the whole title, one syllable is enough to ruin your whole day:

Grandma...

If I never hear that song ever again, it will be too soon. (?!)

ARGH! The mere mention of it has now caused it to run on a continuous loop in my head!!!! THIS is why you don't write rant posts about Christmas music!!!!

PS: !!!!

(I need to actually think of the McCartney song to make things better. Go figure.)
Kent - 12/19/2005 2:56:24 PM
Wow, I thought it was just me. McCartney's 'Wonderful Christmastime' is probably the lamest song he ever recorded. And that's saying something.

Sorry, Anita.

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